Pastor Aaron Brown

Today was the full range of emotions, but I’m super excited to be back to work.

There’s certain things I’ve done in life that feel like a milestone… Buying our first house, having children, adopting our daughter, traveling internationally, planting a new church… After all of these things I looked back and thought to myself “wow, did we really just do that?” These are the types of things that other people talk about doing, but living through them personally is just super surreal. As I end a sabbatical, I have the same type of feelings: did I really just get the opportunity to rest, refocus, and recharge for 10 full weeks? It’s surreal! And I’m super thankful for this time. It was such a generous gift from my church and my family. Here are a couple snapshots of what this season has meant to me.

Personally: It’s been refreshing to spend extended periods of time assessing my emotional, physical, mental and relational health. Over 15 years of full-time ministry I have developed a nasty habit of neglecting self-care and significant relationships, and even of blaming my own unhealth on my environment or professional responsibilities. During this time away I have taken control, and responsibility, of my health and made some decisions about how I want to live and who I want to be. It has required confronting some ugly truths about how I interpret conflict, handle hardship and cope with disappointment. It’s always really difficult to stare your fear and selfishness in the face, denounce its power in Jesus name, and then commit it to the healing power available only in a relationship with the God of the universe… However, I know that I’m healthier for it.

Professionally: I never wanted to be a pastor. In fact, I actively avoided it for several years. When I answered the call to lead in ministry, and even to plant a church, I was responding to specific opportunities and trusting in God’s irresistible leadership over my life. I realized about 8 weeks into the sabbatical that I was still viewing my pastoral ministry as a temporary assignment. The apostolic gear that I have tells me to always be looking for what’s new and what’s next, and unfortunately I often misfocus that energy on my role in ministry instead of on how the church can grow to meet the new needs of its people and those who are searching for belonging in connection to Christ. I am excited to spend the next season of my life and career settling into my calling as a pastoral leader. I’m embracing the fullness of who God has called me to be and what he’s called me to do professionally and not viewing it as something that needs to change in order for me to find my purpose. I feel that I’m ending sabbatical ready to give 100% of what I have to my ministry calling.

Spiritually: Getting paid to lead the church is a funny thing… It’s like a foodie who all of a sudden gets a job as a line cook. There’s an assumption that crossing something we absolutely love with where we get our livelihood from will be a fantastic adventure. The truth, however, is a little more nuanced… Once you spend all day preparing delicious food for other people you might not have the energy to prepare it for yourself and enjoy it… This is how I often feel as a pastor, and sometimes when I take my work hat off I have this nasty habit of setting my faith aside with it. It’s easy to forget your first love when you spend all day doing it. This time of sabbatical taught me new ways to abide in Christ, and to let my identity as one of God’s children be a pervasive part of my life. I feel that he is calling me to new levels of dwelling in His presence and accessing His power in order to bring His Kingdom of hope and reconciliation to my family and community. I’m done letting other people tell me that God no longer works a certain way, or doesn’t want to do a certain thing in my life or in our country. I am committing to open my life, both personally and professionally, up to a relationship with the living God of the universe and letting Him work in and through me in any way he chooses. Times of total surrender like this in my past have preceded God doing some pretty amazing things in my life… I’m excited to see what he’s going to do in our family and in our church family in this next season.

If you’re searching for hope, meaning, belonging, purpose and power in life then I encourage you to look to a relationship with the living God. Don’t take my word for it, seek Him and let him prove it to you…

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Jesus, Matthew 7: 7-12